Recipe for a Kangaroo Court (Judicus Austrailianius)

Ingredients:
1 sensational case that grips national interest
1 out of the way courthouse
1 hodgepodge judicial system
A handful of fanatical/die hard militant type security.
1 egotistical smooth talking wannabe dictator sidekick A.G.
1 suitably vague constitution
1 puppet government
1.5 million Sunday-could-fall-on -a-Monday-I-don’t-give-ah-damn-we-go-vote-them-out-next-time-around population.
1 first past the post electoral system.
1 well-monied, finger in every pie criminal element
1 dozen scapegoats
6 alternates

(Since this recipe is very complex, you might want to practice different components on several smaller less significant cases, before taking the “Big one”)

METHOD:
Tie up legislature in petty wrangling over he-said-she said. Ignore campaign promises of constitutional reform, while trying to make more public appearances that all previous political leaders combined. Tie up public in a melee of other national concerns. Tie up media in bitter internal power struggle.

Put the mixture over an eternal flame, hot air and rhetoric. When heat from poor unrepresented underclass, to rise, open several cases of previous regimes bobol and misconduct. Mix in hodgepodge judicial system, with European and American flavour. Swing a heavy pot spoon in vicious arc from blindside when public’s eyes closed. Stir until opposition party starts to break up. Pour media station on inconsequential details while the big one is prepared in a backroom.

This mixture makes about 10 or so. Place one by one in a frying pan. Sooner or later one will start to get jumpy. Ensure that this one is turned before trial begins.
(Experience with handling unpopular presidential pardons maybe necessary to pull this one off with consummate style)

Sprinkle scapegoats in jury deliberations, if any sour, replace with alternates.
If recipe fails blame scapegoats, if recipe succeeds with violent backlash from criminal element blame scapegoats

Since this may damage the holier than thou reputation of a newly elected dictator of a fig oil’ republic, cover connections to well-monied criminal element by and it may best suit your interest to prevent media from reporting anything to do with or even saying that they can’t mention either.

Flip flop when oven temperature becomes unbearable.

Serves to an apathetic public.

Edited for content by government censors. Authors withheld their names to avoid persecution (prosecution).